medievalpoc:

witchsistah:

medievalpoc:

kodrevas:

medievalpoc:

crowtoed submitted to medievalpoc:

This is Maria Christian, my former cast director at the Michigan Renaissance Festival as her character, Princess Isaade M’boukou. Maria’s been designing and wearing African-Elizabethan fusion garb to MiRF for decades, so she has a few different gowns and headpieces in rotation. In addition to her duties keeping the stage acts organized, as Isaade she acts as an impresario at the feasts, talks about West African traditions and folklore, and is much needed and treasured PoC representation on the cast.

I go to the Michigan RenFest every year and I remember see this woman’s amazing dresses. Fun fact, we also have The Nun, who roams the grounds in a period habit trying to save souls and punishing nonbelievers. She’s also a very awesome black woman.

That sounds amazing and terrifying.

This. Is. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO. COOL!

Just wanted to remind everyone that I also take Garb submissions!

I’m writing a first draft and reminding myself that I’m simply shoveling sand into a box so that later I can build castles.
Shannon Hale (via isagrimorie)
medievalpoc:

thisonewillnotdie:

Mary Jones aka Peter Sewally of New York City was put on trial June 11th 1836 for pick pocketing a wallet containing 99$ from a white john with whom she had done business with the night before.
During their arrest Mary had attempted to throw out two additional wallets hidden in their bosom and the police upon taking Mary’s key and entering their home found dozens more wallets, watches and trinkets belonging to dozens of the cities male Upperclass whom although knowing Mary had stolen from them had become fearful to report to police least their vices be known to an increasingly moral conservative public.
Upon Mary’s interrogation and strip search it was discovered they were born as a man and had created a leather device in the shape and form of a vagina tied around their waist to keep clients from learning Mary’s T and birth sex (Although there is some dispute that the men were well aware of her male identity that she performed in the daytime)
On trial (in as far as I know) in the earliest known first person account of Queer life in United States Mary Jones went on record stating :

"I have been in the practice of waiting upon Girls of ill fame and made up their Beds and received the Company at the door and received the money for Rooms &c and they induced me to dress in Women’s Clothes, saying I looked so much better in them and I have always attended parties among the people of my own Colour dressed in this way — and in New Orleans I always dressed in this way"

 In so doing Mary Jones explained that there existed an active and known community of what would now be called gays, transsexuals, and drag queens in both the most populated city in United States and the blackest city in the United States during the pre-Emancipation era populated solely by black and mixed race people.
Of course Mary was convicted of Grand Larceny imprisoned for five years but not before being humiliated during trial and her image sensationalized by the press. Additionally days after their initial release Mary was sentenced a second time to Sing-Sing for a five month period for daring to walk about in female attire again before finally disappearing from the records.
It can be argued that this community of which Mary belonged to was the foundation of the later Black Drag Cakewalk balls known in late 19th century New York City, the queer rent parties and gay social life of 1920’s Harlem and eventually the Ballroom/Vogue community formed in the 1940’s to Present.
Although their life was marred in controversy caused by the multipronged discrimination so common for black gender and sexually variant people (then and now) for exisiting out, open and matter of factly Mary Jones was able to create a “beginning” for recorded black Queer life and history in this nation.

This is outside the usual purview of Medievalpoc, but a recent influx of questions about people of color, sexuality and gender diversity from history can be answered in this post.

medievalpoc:

thisonewillnotdie:

Mary Jones aka Peter Sewally of New York City was put on trial June 11th 1836 for pick pocketing a wallet containing 99$ from a white john with whom she had done business with the night before.

During their arrest Mary had attempted to throw out two additional wallets hidden in their bosom and the police upon taking Mary’s key and entering their home found dozens more wallets, watches and trinkets belonging to dozens of the cities male Upperclass whom although knowing Mary had stolen from them had become fearful to report to police least their vices be known to an increasingly moral conservative public.

Upon Mary’s interrogation and strip search it was discovered they were born as a man and had created a leather device in the shape and form of a vagina tied around their waist to keep clients from learning Mary’s T and birth sex (Although there is some dispute that the men were well aware of her male identity that she performed in the daytime)

On trial (in as far as I know) in the earliest known first person account of Queer life in United States Mary Jones went on record stating :

"I have been in the practice of waiting upon Girls of ill fame and made up their Beds and received the Company at the door and received the money for Rooms &c and they induced me to dress in Women’s Clothes, saying I looked so much better in them and I have always attended parties among the people of my own Colour dressed in this way — and in New Orleans I always dressed in this way"


In so doing Mary Jones explained that there existed an active and known community of what would now be called gays, transsexuals, and drag queens in both the most populated city in United States and the blackest city in the United States during the pre-Emancipation era populated solely by black and mixed race people.

Of course Mary was convicted of Grand Larceny imprisoned for five years but not before being humiliated during trial and her image sensationalized by the press. Additionally days after their initial release Mary was sentenced a second time to Sing-Sing for a five month period for daring to walk about in female attire again before finally disappearing from the records.

It can be argued that this community of which Mary belonged to was the foundation of the later Black Drag Cakewalk balls known in late 19th century New York City, the queer rent parties and gay social life of 1920’s Harlem and eventually the Ballroom/Vogue community formed in the 1940’s to Present.

Although their life was marred in controversy caused by the multipronged discrimination so common for black gender and sexually variant people (then and now) for exisiting out, open and matter of factly Mary Jones was able to create a “beginning” for recorded black Queer life and history in this nation.

This is outside the usual purview of Medievalpoc, but a recent influx of questions about people of color, sexuality and gender diversity from history can be answered in this post.

popculturebrain:

First Look: Disney Animation’s ‘Moana' coming 2016 | /Film

Walt Disney Animation Studios revealed plans today for “Moana,” a sweeping, CG-animated comedy-adventure about a spirited teenager on an impossible mission to fulfill her ancestors’ quest. In theaters in late 2016, the film is directed by the renowned filmmaking team of Ron Clements and John Musker (“The Little Mermaid,” “The Princess and the Frog,” “Aladdin”).
In the ancient South Pacific world of Oceania, Moana, a born navigator, sets sail in search of a fabled island. During her incredible journey, she teams up with her hero, the legendary demi-god Maui, to traverse the open ocean on an action-packed voyage, encountering enormous sea creatures, breathtaking underworlds and ancient folklore. 

popculturebrain:

First Look: Disney Animation’s ‘Moana' coming 2016 | /Film

Walt Disney Animation Studios revealed plans today for “Moana,” a sweeping, CG-animated comedy-adventure about a spirited teenager on an impossible mission to fulfill her ancestors’ quest. In theaters in late 2016, the film is directed by the renowned filmmaking team of Ron Clements and John Musker (“The Little Mermaid,” “The Princess and the Frog,” “Aladdin”).

In the ancient South Pacific world of Oceania, Moana, a born navigator, sets sail in search of a fabled island. During her incredible journey, she teams up with her hero, the legendary demi-god Maui, to traverse the open ocean on an action-packed voyage, encountering enormous sea creatures, breathtaking underworlds and ancient folklore. 

bookoflifemovie:

Manolo and Carmen fan art from vivzie-pop.

bookoflifemovie:

Manolo and Carmen fan art from vivzie-pop.

firewordsparkler:

gohomeluhan:

As I’m walking through Target with my little sister, the kid somehow manages to convince me to take a trip down the doll aisle. I know the type - brands that preach diversity through displays of nine different variations of white and maybe a black girl if you’re lucky enough. What I instead found as soon as I turned into the aisle were these two boxes.

The girl on the left is Shola, an Afghani girl from Kabul with war-torn eyes. Her biography on the inside flap tells us that “her country has been at war since before she was born”, and all she has left of her family is her older sister. They’re part of a circus, the one source of light in their lives, and they read the Qur’an. She wears a hijab.

The girl on the right is Nahji, a ten-year-old Indian girl from Assam, where “young girls are forced to work and get married at a very early age”. Nahji is smart, admirable, extremely studious. She teaches her fellow girls to believe in themselves. In the left side of her nose, as tradition mandates, she has a piercing. On her right hand is a henna tattoo.

As a Pakistani girl growing up in post-9/11 America, this is so important to me. The closest thing we had to these back in my day were “customizable” American Girl dolls, who were very strictly white or black. My eyes are green, my hair was black, and my skin is brown, and I couldn’t find my reflection in any of those girls. Yet I settled, just like I settled for the terrorist jokes boys would throw at me, like I settled for the butchered pronunciations of names of mine and my friends’ countries. I settled for a white doll, who at least had my eyes if nothing else, and I named her Rabeea and loved her. But I still couldn’t completely connect to her.

My little sister, who had been the one to push me down the aisle in the first place, stopped to stare with me at the girls. And then the words, “Maybe they can be my American Girls,” slipped out of her mouth. This young girl, barely represented in today’s society, finally found a doll that looks like her, that wears the weird headscarf that her grandma does and still manages to look beautiful.

I turned the dolls’ boxes around and snapped a picture of the back of Nahji’s. There are more that I didn’t see in the store; a Belarusian, an Ethiopian, a Brazilian, a Laotian, a Native American, a Mexican. And more.

These are Hearts 4 Hearts dolls, and while they haven’t yet reached all parts of the world (I think they have yet to come out with an East Asian girl), they need all the support they can get so we can have a beautiful doll for every beautiful young girl, so we can give them what our generation never had.

Please don’t let this die. If you know a young girl, get her one. I know I’m buying Shola and Nahji for my little sister’s next birthday, because she needs a doll with beautiful brown skin like hers, a doll who wears a hijab like our older sister, a doll who wears real henna, not the blue shit white girls get at the beach.

The Hearts 4 Hearts girls are so important. Don’t overlook them. Don’t underestimate them. These can be the future if we let them.

You can read more about the dolls here: http://www.playmatestoys.com/brands/hearts-for-hearts-girls

Remind me to tell you guys about the time my aunt got an American Girl Doll named after her because she wrote a complaint to the American Girl Doll people about how none of the dolls look like her daughter.

excellent-show-of-patience:

i-shall-move-on-in-life:

onceuponatime-confessions:

Reader Submitted Image 
“Rumple became such a sad character to me when he wouldn’t fight for Milah. He may have magic, but he is just a sad and cowardly man.”

And then he later on played judge, jury, and executioner on Milah for leaving Bae (which he was also guilty of) and for daring to say, “I never loved you.”
Maybe he is a cowardly, sad man, but he is also responsible for creating a curse that would make people miserable for 28 years and giving it to someone that he knew would activate it, all so he could right his mistakes.
He mocked the death of the Fairy Godmother he killed—“No one mourned her.” He tried to kill his own grandson based on word of someone that had not only tricked him before in the past, but admitted that the future was not clear.
He tricked Belle into thinking that he trusted her with his dagger, when in reality, he was just using her as an alibi to kill Zelena.
Rumple knows full well what he does, but he still does them anyway because he is selfish.

Rumple is a self victimized, self justified misogynist who started out as an entitled coward who falsely assumed his problematic, self destructive and toxic decisions which directly and negatively affected his wife causing her to sink into clinical depression meant that she automatically owed him unswerving loyalty and devotion. And eventually regressed into a sadistic, murderous, malicious, abusive, exploitative, manipulative oppressor and tyrant who multiplies and solidifies his power by taking advantage of socially marginalized girls and their abusive situations in order to impose shady deals on them.
Rumple ditched his army friends to die for their families - as well as that of his own - because of a vague, ambitiously worded prophesy he disturbingly intimidated a child referred to as a Seer into briefly revealing to him. Random bits of which only implied the potential errors in his parenting, not that he was going to die on that particular war. All Rumple had to do was to sit himself on some log and reflect on HIS problematic mindsets and enormous, immeasurable sense of entitlement that consistently interfered with his ability to acknowledge that other people were actual human beings with needs, emotions and agency. Rather than objects/prized possessions without free will that he could automatically have a claim on by default without investing a modicum of effort into securing their comfort, well being and psychological & physical stability.
Son was indeed going to grow up without a father but not because Rumple was at risk of dying but because Rumple ended up choosing his personal selfish needs and place of corruptly gained privilege and power acquired by means of murder over Bae’s safety and over his own direct parental duties. Remarkably, after mistreating his wife into depression and misery by incessantly scolding her for not faring with HER responsibilities. Even though Milah’s worst crime towards Bae was to leave him with a parent where he was well fed and taken care of whereas Rumple’s was the one to subject his underage son to a lonely, desperate existence on streets of unfamiliar realm where he nearly starved to death - and would have died inevitably had it not been for admirably welcoming Darlings.
Rumple, however, does not opt for self critical approach towards the issue - he, per usual, resorts to self victimization. He, essentially, assumes the prophesy implies HE is going to be a victim even though his son was boldly deemed as one by it. Not for so much as a microsecond does it even begin to cross Rumple’s mind that HIS parental mistakes, HIS selfishness, his short sightedness, HIS incompetence, HIS entitlement, HIS relentless pursuit of validation, gratification and recognition (so he could get back at the meanies who hurt his precious feelings and proceed to terrorize, take advantage and mistreat instead of thoroughly analyzing WHY he was not warmly received by people) were going to lead to his son’s unenviable fate of an orphan.
It’s completely unimaginable for Rumple that ANY situation can be about HIS wrongness rather than him falling a victim to circumstances hence why he instantly makes the prophesy about himself, not his son whom it ACTUALLY was about. He instantly makes himself out to be a victim: he doesn’t examine the very possibility of the prophesy pointing at his eventual parental failures, he is of a firm belief that it is entirely and completely about HIM dying heroically at the war and his son growing up fatherless due to that fact. The section of prophesy revealed by the Sir centers around his son being a victim yet Rumple instantly perceives himself as one. 
As the result of this vastly distorted interpretation Rumple chooses to inflict a physical disability on himself, shamelessly deceive his authorities, gain a dishonorable status of a deserter only to come back to a more favorable societal position of a master of the house, provider and a family man. While the deserter label was supposed to, by all accounts, rank him among criminals and deprive him of any initial privileges he might have possessed Rumple manages to preserve them all regardless: his house, his source of income, his family. Except the problem is - and that was a decidedly incomprehensible concept for Rumple to grasp - that said family consisted of living, breathing HUMAN BEINGS whom he was NOT entitled to. He did, however, consider himself entitled.
His problematic, unsettling decision negatively affects Milah who becomes alienated, condemned, sidelined and side-eyed by the entire village community because in medieval patriarchal environment her autonomy and agency were limited to her status of a wife and a mother. Rumple, according to the values of the time period, held a complete control over that marriage and didn’t move a finger to prevent his wife and his son from facing the consequences of HIS unreasonable, poorly weighted out choices. He, once again, resorts to victimizing himself, positioning himself as exemplary family man who is unfairly mistreated by inconsiderate inferiors who DARE to not uphold his swelling sense of entitlement, DARE to call him out, have the NERVE to not coddle him and instead highlight his misguidance and cowardice in public and personal conversations. Rumple feels entitled to his wife’s unquestionable obedience and efficient performance of traditionally feminine roles which he reduces her entire existence & potential to, ceaselessly patronizing Milah on responsibilities while miserably failing his masculine duties as a military man, husband (seeing as disregarding your spouse’s needs and slow but steady slide into depression is a form of verbal abuse and most certainly not a behavior of a devoted, caring husband) and subsequently a father.
Rumple is a textbook representative of a “nice guy” trope - he puts coins in. Except instead of sex he expects loyalty, obedience and unwavering consideration to come out. Which is, in fact, considerably more problematic and misogynistic because he benefits from patriarchal environment in which HE dictates the rules of his marriage with Milah. He makes contributions HE perceives as heroic, gracious, selfless and noble and awaits pay back in a form of his wife’s tolerance and acceptance. Despite the fact that decisions he regards as right and graceful affect her in the most unflattering way possible. Rumple positions himself as a wounded, rejected puppy who made a trick and didn’t get a treat for it afterwards.
He had the full power over Milah who actively discouraged him from going to war which was entirely his initiative. Milah RESPECTED his decision to do so because contrary to him Milah acknowledged Rumple’s agency and endorsed his self fulfillment and process of personal development & self discovery when he seemed to be eager and willing to pursue it. On the contrary, when Rumple opted for being a cowardly deserter by abandoning his army friends to impending deaths on a battlefield because of what a child he had intimidated told him Milah ended up being confronted with the consequences of HIS decisions. Because in a patriarchal society her agency outside of her role as Rumple’s wife was non existent.
Rumple deceives his government, disables himself, abandons his peers, lets Milah be affected by his choices and expects to be welcomed with arms wide open. Not even attempting to fix a negative situation he was inevitably placing her into, not endeavoring to remove his family from the dysfunctional environment created by HIM and his misleading interpretation of some shady prophesy, starting a fresh somewhere else where Milah & Bae wouldn’t be haunted by the consequences of his actions. Rumple makes a problematic decision, lets it ruin his wife’s life, conveniently preserves his initial privileges and expects to be obeyed and catered to because HE interpreted said decision as honorable. Whereas Milah remains powerless against it, all she can do is to verbally lash out and drown her sorrows in alcohol, in a tavern where she is at the very least treated like a person with emotions rather than a social construct.
Because that’s what Milah was to Rumple - a societal mold existing solely for his convenience. Rumple, per normal, victimizes himself and assumes Milah is drawn to the pirates in the tavern because of their masculinity and obnoxiousness instead of appreciating HIS “heroics” and conforming to HIS needs and demands. Which he felt entitled to make, lecturing her on responsibilities after having drastically failed that of his. It was not, however, about masculinity - it was about the fact that Hook and his crew treated Milah like a human being, with needs, passions, cravings, quirks and flaws. Hook, in many ways, was the antithesis for Rumple: instead of deceiving his government he dedicated his youth to loyally serving his Kingdom until it deceived HIM, resulting in a tragic untimely death of his only family member and leaving him no options other than to OPENLY defy it rather than cowardly run away like Rumple did. Rumple avoided being subjected to responsibility for becoming a deserter by preserving his privileges, Hook consciously revoked his privileges in order to not perpetuate corruptness (which is precisely what Rumple did by benefiting from everything he had illegally maintained while continuously ignoring his wife’s increasing depression and misery caused by HIS actions). Hook was upfront and direct about his defiant stance rather than placing the burden of responsibility for it on socially marginalized women or his female love interests. He acknowledged Milah’s needs, sympathized with her situation, got drawn to her in spite of how exceedingly flawed she might have been.
It was never about masculinity or external appeal but about the fact that for Rumple Milah was a social construct whereas for Hook she was a relentless, struggling woman. THAT is what gets Milah attracted to him. She doesn’t, however, use Hook’s services to escape a toxic situation instantly. She takes it upon herself to address her concerns to Rumple first; because he clearly has no regard for Milah’s blatantly evident misery nor acknowledges it.
Milah gathers up a courage to pour her heart out, BEGS Rumple to travel some other place where they could start all over and build a healthier, happier, more adjusted life together, she is willing to work towards their relationship if only Rumple concedes to making EFFORT to do the same. She doesn’t care about the fact that he had failed his masculine role as a soldier (contrary to Rumple who continually scolds her on her feminine ones) - what Milah does care about is the fact that he completely disregards her needs and emotional well being/comfort as if she is a possession he has a claim on rather than a person with feelings, longings and ambitions. Rumple’s response to her heartfelt, desperate, outward pleas is poignant in it’s demonstration of blatant misogyny. He once again demeans Milah to a social construct by in no uncertain terms advising her to DEAL with her depression which was the result of HIS problematic decisions and repress her misery on behalf of effectively performing conventional roles of wife & mother hence “if not for me then for Bae”.
That’s where Milah realizes her husband was never going to have or exhibit any consideration towards her psychological stability, that she was going to remain a societal mold for him, not an unique individual who is not immune to pain and misery and that she was going to slowly but surely die in that environment, first on a psychological level and then literally. She was emotionally suffocated in a marriage where her husband had all the power and denied her a iota of agency or control hence turning to a man who acknowledged said agency and, contrary to Rumple, AGREED to assist her in pursuing her liberty, emancipation and self fulfillment on HER terms.
If Milah had openly chosen to break up with Rumple she would have most likely been burned at either proverbial or literal stake by the village that already shamed her incessantly. Rumple promptly declined her plea to move away TOGETHER and most certainly was not going to allow her to leave with another man. The situation could have taken any unpredictable, extreme and fatal turn if Milah had chosen to face Rumple (it, in fact, did eventually when Milah WAS brave enough to do it) hence why she opted for the only accessible way and Hook took responsibility entirely on himself for the plan SHE had come up with. Versus Rumple who let Milah face the consequences of HIS toxic choices.
Milah disregarded Rumple’s feelings and comfort by the method she chose in order to leave whereas Rumple had been dismissing HER needs and emotions for years by taking advantage of his place of power. Not excluding on the very same night when she realized she had no options other than to go to Hook and ask him for assistance. Hook did what Rumple refused to do for her - he recognized her request and helped her reclaim her agency. Why wouldn’t he? Back in the day he also found himself in a desperate situation where he had to resort to radical methods of responding to it due to ending up in a place of complete disadvantage. He didn’t consider a woman less entitled to do the same, contrary to Rumple. Hook confronted the latter for a duel because he owed this man nothing - Rumple dismissed his wife’s wishes, made her miserable, made himself disabled in order to avoid fighting at a war. Whereas Hook devoted his youth to risking his life for his country and even when faced with corruptness was direct and straightforward in his defiance instead of choosing convenient life and mistreating his disadvantageous female partner by assuming he has a claim on her.
Rumple declined the offer for a duel because he valued his own safety over Milah’s physical well being similarly to how he dismissed her psychological one. HE was the reason why Milah ended up in that situation and if he was not going to fulfill his duties as a husband by means of masculinity and literally fighting he had to at least fight for their relationship by acknowledging his wife’s needs which is something he also didn’t do. Milah and Hook were not obligated to be “nice” to entitled adult - and Milah had already been repeatedly confronted with the drastic lengths Rumple’s sense of entitlement went. His refusal to acknowledge her misery and make a change was merely an icing on cake.
This encounter ends with Hook not laying a finger on Rumple, allowing him to walk freely, back to his son, unharmed, whereas Milah is liberated from the toxic marriage. Intending to regain control over her life, mentally recover and come back to Bae some time later, when he’s old enough to decide which parent he wants to stay with.
Second encounter? Is a gratuitous contrast to the first one. Hook is faced with a literally SAME choice except his chances against the Dark One are not merely slim - they are non-existent. Peasant Rumple had admittedly little chances to win against the pirate Killian whereas pirate Killian had zero chances to make it out alive. Yet he chooses to fight and inevitably die on behalf of securing Milah’s safety, freedom and happiness. Rumple does not give Killian any choices like the latter did in regards to him - he takes advantage of his newly acquired power  threatening to slaughter the entirety of Hook’s crew. Hook doesn’t attempt to deflect - he is willing to die to protect his people and a woman he loves.
As is well known, Milah is revealed to be alive which prompts Rumple to switch back to textbook misogynistic mode. During the moments that are bound to be her very last on earth what Milah hears from her husband is the same patronizing, same humiliation of her as a parent. Rumple is hypocritical enough to demand that she apologizes to HIM while not acknowledging any of his mistakes, not apologizing for making her life miserable, not realizing that HE was the reason she left. He makes himself out to be a victim again.
Milah delivers a wholehearted apology, recognizing her mistakes towards Bae and expressing sincerest regret while Rumple keeps shouting at her, insulting her, degrading her as if he is in a place to critique Milah for her parental mistakes after having failed their mutual son in far more despicable manner.
What he conveniently leaves out are crucial details about the fact that HE had psychologically traumatized Bae by viciously massacring people in front of his son’s impressionable young eyes, turning them into snails & stomping on them for breathing in a wrong direction, killing defenseless women he forced into slavery because they might have posed a threat to his empowerment and consistently placing HIS vehement power pursuit and HIS need for validation and attainment of a fearsome/influential status over Bae’s well being. Which prompts Bae to open the portal into a different realm because he descended into the same misery as Milah when she was with Rumple. And just like Milah, Bae BEGGED Rumple to start all over yet Rumple, again, chose his selfish needs and convenience over that of the person he claimed to love.
Milah left Bae in his father’s custody after having sunk into all encompassing depression and had both the means - the bean, ship that could travel between realms - and the desire to come back. Rumple abandoned Bae to starve on streets of unfamiliar world because he valued power and privilege over him and proceeded to perpetuate the same malicious and murderous tendencies that made Bae open the portal & strive to escape the toxic environment (arranged by Rumple) in the first place, all in order to fix the consequences the loss of Bae entailed for HIM. Because Rumple once again made himself out to be a victim. And had, predictably, neither the resources nor critical thinking to outline a competent plan to come back for his son (resorting to murdering and/or manipulating multiple women in order to attain his goals).
Rumple, A class misogynist that he is, considers himself immune to scrutiny and does not confess to Milah about how grossly HE had betrayed their son. He does NOT fall to his knees begging for HER forgiveness - if he had done it, chances Milah and Hook would have allowed him on the board and together they would have set out to search for Bae seeing as Milah & Hook had the bean and the ship. Rumple, however predictably, ends up valuing his ego over a rational way of reuniting with his son. He demeans Milah as a parent despite being a worse one by all accounts, conceals the truth about Bae from her, makes her beg and plead for her freedom again. Accepts HER sincere apologies without in any way acknowledging his own wrongness and murders her in cold blood for having the audacity to say she never loved him, a man who made her miserable.
Milah ended up being entirely right about resorting to deception when escaping because when given the opportunity Rumple is capable of anything that helps him feel better about his hurt feelings and misogynistic tears he cried into the night instead of fighting for Milah at least on SOME level. Not excluding emotional one by fulfilling her requests and listening to her. First time Milah was brave enough to be honest with Rumple she ended up being dismissed, second time she ended up being murdered.
Rumple gave a woman - a mother of his child - a death penalty for defying conventional roles after miserably failing his as a man, husband and father. As well as for daring to love someone else who encouraged her liberty, happiness and empowered her rather than depriving her of any control like Rumple did. Rumple is literally a character who existed to teach “disobedient” women what happens when they dare to exercise their free will and proceed to maim a man who assisted a woman in reclaiming her agency and loved her the way she DESERVED to be loved: like a person rather than a possession a man is entitled to by default.
Milah and Hook hurt Rumple’s feelings after Rumple had made Milah depressed and trapped her in a toxic environment. Rumple viciously slaughtered Milah in cold blood for the fact of romantic rejection and for a considerably less drastic parental mistake, inflicted permanent physical disability on Hook for daring to empower women rather than oppress them and subjected him to three centuries of psychological torture because he DARED to be favored over Rumple on a romantic level and assisted the latter’s miserable wife in reclaiming her liberty in a way that damaged his ego.
"I want you to suffer like I did” - graphic, ultimate proof of the fact that it was never about Bae and ALWAYS about Rumple’s hurt feelings.
Should Rumple be coddled because said feelings were hurt? Should he be miraculously regarded as a tortured, misunderstood martyr as certain comments under this confession suggest? Rumple IS a sad, cowardly man. On top of that, he is also a misogynistic, abusive wife murderer who marries his former female slave (one he, amusingly, did NOT kill) under false pretenses and by lying through wedding vows about  murdering a yet another defenseless woman.
Hook is a severely flawed individual who owns his mistakes. Rumple is a self victimized woobie who considers himself entitled to women and adjusts to circumstances that make him look heroic and selfless. Even though he either has no choice in those situations or needs to have his malicious schemes sabotaged by OTHERS first instead of reconsidering any of his harmful intents. He doesn’t get a credit for unfortunately dying that one time because the reason WHY he got to that point was because his cold blooded murder of his eleven year old grandson was prevented and because he refused to help the ground search for Henry until Hook CHOSE to turn his ship around, come back and offer his services. Even if it meant allowing Rumple’s sadistic and oppressive self on the board despite the fact that this man destroyed him physically and psychologically for three centuries and killed his loved one.
Did Rumple ever feel remorse for murdering Milah or face any consequences? Nope, he still refers to his slain wife as if she was an object, not mastering a modicum of maturity three centuries later. Remorse for nearly succeeding at murdering Henry? Nada, until his son called him out. Remorse for years of misogynistic exploitation of socially & psychologically disadvantageous women, murder of a Fairy Godmother, violent slaughter of a poor mute housemaid, oppression of the Entire Enchanted forest and subjection of it’s residents to three decades of misery by manipulating Regina into enacting the curse? None, as long as he gets to have an ignorant girlfriend who promptly whitewashes his atrocities on base of “his heart is trueeeee!!!!1111!!!” falsehood.
A man who is guilty of murdering his female spouse for exercising her agency and leaving him for someone else, who prefaced said murder with belittling his wife as a mother while wronging his son in a way she never did and has demonstrated not an ounce of remorse for what he did to this woman and her partner ever since; smugly reveling in his immunity for this misogynistic crime which Rumple’s place of power allowed him to get away with should not be allowed to remarry - he should be serving a life long jail term. Doing what he has been consistently refusing to do, specifically examining his behaviors and maybe realizing that he is a problem rather than a victim.

excellent-show-of-patience:

i-shall-move-on-in-life:

onceuponatime-confessions:

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Rumple became such a sad character to me when he wouldn’t fight for Milah. He may have magic, but he is just a sad and cowardly man.”

And then he later on played judge, jury, and executioner on Milah for leaving Bae (which he was also guilty of) and for daring to say, “I never loved you.”

Maybe he is a cowardly, sad man, but he is also responsible for creating a curse that would make people miserable for 28 years and giving it to someone that he knew would activate it, all so he could right his mistakes.

He mocked the death of the Fairy Godmother he killed—“No one mourned her.” He tried to kill his own grandson based on word of someone that had not only tricked him before in the past, but admitted that the future was not clear.

He tricked Belle into thinking that he trusted her with his dagger, when in reality, he was just using her as an alibi to kill Zelena.

Rumple knows full well what he does, but he still does them anyway because he is selfish.

Rumple is a self victimized, self justified misogynist who started out as an entitled coward who falsely assumed his problematic, self destructive and toxic decisions which directly and negatively affected his wife causing her to sink into clinical depression meant that she automatically owed him unswerving loyalty and devotion. And eventually regressed into a sadistic, murderous, malicious, abusive, exploitative, manipulative oppressor and tyrant who multiplies and solidifies his power by taking advantage of socially marginalized girls and their abusive situations in order to impose shady deals on them.

Rumple ditched his army friends to die for their families - as well as that of his own - because of a vague, ambitiously worded prophesy he disturbingly intimidated a child referred to as a Seer into briefly revealing to him. Random bits of which only implied the potential errors in his parenting, not that he was going to die on that particular war. All Rumple had to do was to sit himself on some log and reflect on HIS problematic mindsets and enormous, immeasurable sense of entitlement that consistently interfered with his ability to acknowledge that other people were actual human beings with needs, emotions and agency. Rather than objects/prized possessions without free will that he could automatically have a claim on by default without investing a modicum of effort into securing their comfort, well being and psychological & physical stability.

Son was indeed going to grow up without a father but not because Rumple was at risk of dying but because Rumple ended up choosing his personal selfish needs and place of corruptly gained privilege and power acquired by means of murder over Bae’s safety and over his own direct parental duties. Remarkably, after mistreating his wife into depression and misery by incessantly scolding her for not faring with HER responsibilities. Even though Milah’s worst crime towards Bae was to leave him with a parent where he was well fed and taken care of whereas Rumple’s was the one to subject his underage son to a lonely, desperate existence on streets of unfamiliar realm where he nearly starved to death - and would have died inevitably had it not been for admirably welcoming Darlings.

Rumple, however, does not opt for self critical approach towards the issue - he, per usual, resorts to self victimization. He, essentially, assumes the prophesy implies HE is going to be a victim even though his son was boldly deemed as one by it. Not for so much as a microsecond does it even begin to cross Rumple’s mind that HIS parental mistakes, HIS selfishness, his short sightedness, HIS incompetence, HIS entitlement, HIS relentless pursuit of validation, gratification and recognition (so he could get back at the meanies who hurt his precious feelings and proceed to terrorize, take advantage and mistreat instead of thoroughly analyzing WHY he was not warmly received by people) were going to lead to his son’s unenviable fate of an orphan.

It’s completely unimaginable for Rumple that ANY situation can be about HIS wrongness rather than him falling a victim to circumstances hence why he instantly makes the prophesy about himself, not his son whom it ACTUALLY was about. He instantly makes himself out to be a victim: he doesn’t examine the very possibility of the prophesy pointing at his eventual parental failures, he is of a firm belief that it is entirely and completely about HIM dying heroically at the war and his son growing up fatherless due to that fact. The section of prophesy revealed by the Sir centers around his son being a victim yet Rumple instantly perceives himself as one.

As the result of this vastly distorted interpretation Rumple chooses to inflict a physical disability on himself, shamelessly deceive his authorities, gain a dishonorable status of a deserter only to come back to a more favorable societal position of a master of the house, provider and a family man. While the deserter label was supposed to, by all accounts, rank him among criminals and deprive him of any initial privileges he might have possessed Rumple manages to preserve them all regardless: his house, his source of income, his family. Except the problem is - and that was a decidedly incomprehensible concept for Rumple to grasp - that said family consisted of living, breathing HUMAN BEINGS whom he was NOT entitled to. He did, however, consider himself entitled.

His problematic, unsettling decision negatively affects Milah who becomes alienated, condemned, sidelined and side-eyed by the entire village community because in medieval patriarchal environment her autonomy and agency were limited to her status of a wife and a mother. Rumple, according to the values of the time period, held a complete control over that marriage and didn’t move a finger to prevent his wife and his son from facing the consequences of HIS unreasonable, poorly weighted out choices. He, once again, resorts to victimizing himself, positioning himself as exemplary family man who is unfairly mistreated by inconsiderate inferiors who DARE to not uphold his swelling sense of entitlement, DARE to call him out, have the NERVE to not coddle him and instead highlight his misguidance and cowardice in public and personal conversations. Rumple feels entitled to his wife’s unquestionable obedience and efficient performance of traditionally feminine roles which he reduces her entire existence & potential to, ceaselessly patronizing Milah on responsibilities while miserably failing his masculine duties as a military man, husband (seeing as disregarding your spouse’s needs and slow but steady slide into depression is a form of verbal abuse and most certainly not a behavior of a devoted, caring husband) and subsequently a father.

Rumple is a textbook representative of a “nice guy” trope - he puts coins in. Except instead of sex he expects loyalty, obedience and unwavering consideration to come out. Which is, in fact, considerably more problematic and misogynistic because he benefits from patriarchal environment in which HE dictates the rules of his marriage with Milah. He makes contributions HE perceives as heroic, gracious, selfless and noble and awaits pay back in a form of his wife’s tolerance and acceptance. Despite the fact that decisions he regards as right and graceful affect her in the most unflattering way possible. Rumple positions himself as a wounded, rejected puppy who made a trick and didn’t get a treat for it afterwards.

He had the full power over Milah who actively discouraged him from going to war which was entirely his initiative. Milah RESPECTED his decision to do so because contrary to him Milah acknowledged Rumple’s agency and endorsed his self fulfillment and process of personal development & self discovery when he seemed to be eager and willing to pursue it. On the contrary, when Rumple opted for being a cowardly deserter by abandoning his army friends to impending deaths on a battlefield because of what a child he had intimidated told him Milah ended up being confronted with the consequences of HIS decisions. Because in a patriarchal society her agency outside of her role as Rumple’s wife was non existent.

Rumple deceives his government, disables himself, abandons his peers, lets Milah be affected by his choices and expects to be welcomed with arms wide open. Not even attempting to fix a negative situation he was inevitably placing her into, not endeavoring to remove his family from the dysfunctional environment created by HIM and his misleading interpretation of some shady prophesy, starting a fresh somewhere else where Milah & Bae wouldn’t be haunted by the consequences of his actions. Rumple makes a problematic decision, lets it ruin his wife’s life, conveniently preserves his initial privileges and expects to be obeyed and catered to because HE interpreted said decision as honorable. Whereas Milah remains powerless against it, all she can do is to verbally lash out and drown her sorrows in alcohol, in a tavern where she is at the very least treated like a person with emotions rather than a social construct.

Because that’s what Milah was to Rumple - a societal mold existing solely for his convenience. Rumple, per normal, victimizes himself and assumes Milah is drawn to the pirates in the tavern because of their masculinity and obnoxiousness instead of appreciating HIS “heroics” and conforming to HIS needs and demands. Which he felt entitled to make, lecturing her on responsibilities after having drastically failed that of his. It was not, however, about masculinity - it was about the fact that Hook and his crew treated Milah like a human being, with needs, passions, cravings, quirks and flaws. Hook, in many ways, was the antithesis for Rumple: instead of deceiving his government he dedicated his youth to loyally serving his Kingdom until it deceived HIM, resulting in a tragic untimely death of his only family member and leaving him no options other than to OPENLY defy it rather than cowardly run away like Rumple did. Rumple avoided being subjected to responsibility for becoming a deserter by preserving his privileges, Hook consciously revoked his privileges in order to not perpetuate corruptness (which is precisely what Rumple did by benefiting from everything he had illegally maintained while continuously ignoring his wife’s increasing depression and misery caused by HIS actions). Hook was upfront and direct about his defiant stance rather than placing the burden of responsibility for it on socially marginalized women or his female love interests. He acknowledged Milah’s needs, sympathized with her situation, got drawn to her in spite of how exceedingly flawed she might have been.

It was never about masculinity or external appeal but about the fact that for Rumple Milah was a social construct whereas for Hook she was a relentless, struggling woman. THAT is what gets Milah attracted to him. She doesn’t, however, use Hook’s services to escape a toxic situation instantly. She takes it upon herself to address her concerns to Rumple first; because he clearly has no regard for Milah’s blatantly evident misery nor acknowledges it.

Milah gathers up a courage to pour her heart out, BEGS Rumple to travel some other place where they could start all over and build a healthier, happier, more adjusted life together, she is willing to work towards their relationship if only Rumple concedes to making EFFORT to do the same. She doesn’t care about the fact that he had failed his masculine role as a soldier (contrary to Rumple who continually scolds her on her feminine ones) - what Milah does care about is the fact that he completely disregards her needs and emotional well being/comfort as if she is a possession he has a claim on rather than a person with feelings, longings and ambitions. Rumple’s response to her heartfelt, desperate, outward pleas is poignant in it’s demonstration of blatant misogyny. He once again demeans Milah to a social construct by in no uncertain terms advising her to DEAL with her depression which was the result of HIS problematic decisions and repress her misery on behalf of effectively performing conventional roles of wife & mother hence “if not for me then for Bae”.

That’s where Milah realizes her husband was never going to have or exhibit any consideration towards her psychological stability, that she was going to remain a societal mold for him, not an unique individual who is not immune to pain and misery and that she was going to slowly but surely die in that environment, first on a psychological level and then literally. She was emotionally suffocated in a marriage where her husband had all the power and denied her a iota of agency or control hence turning to a man who acknowledged said agency and, contrary to Rumple, AGREED to assist her in pursuing her liberty, emancipation and self fulfillment on HER terms.

If Milah had openly chosen to break up with Rumple she would have most likely been burned at either proverbial or literal stake by the village that already shamed her incessantly. Rumple promptly declined her plea to move away TOGETHER and most certainly was not going to allow her to leave with another man. The situation could have taken any unpredictable, extreme and fatal turn if Milah had chosen to face Rumple (it, in fact, did eventually when Milah WAS brave enough to do it) hence why she opted for the only accessible way and Hook took responsibility entirely on himself for the plan SHE had come up with. Versus Rumple who let Milah face the consequences of HIS toxic choices.

Milah disregarded Rumple’s feelings and comfort by the method she chose in order to leave whereas Rumple had been dismissing HER needs and emotions for years by taking advantage of his place of power. Not excluding on the very same night when she realized she had no options other than to go to Hook and ask him for assistance. Hook did what Rumple refused to do for her - he recognized her request and helped her reclaim her agency. Why wouldn’t he? Back in the day he also found himself in a desperate situation where he had to resort to radical methods of responding to it due to ending up in a place of complete disadvantage. He didn’t consider a woman less entitled to do the same, contrary to Rumple. Hook confronted the latter for a duel because he owed this man nothing - Rumple dismissed his wife’s wishes, made her miserable, made himself disabled in order to avoid fighting at a war. Whereas Hook devoted his youth to risking his life for his country and even when faced with corruptness was direct and straightforward in his defiance instead of choosing convenient life and mistreating his disadvantageous female partner by assuming he has a claim on her.

Rumple declined the offer for a duel because he valued his own safety over Milah’s physical well being similarly to how he dismissed her psychological one. HE was the reason why Milah ended up in that situation and if he was not going to fulfill his duties as a husband by means of masculinity and literally fighting he had to at least fight for their relationship by acknowledging his wife’s needs which is something he also didn’t do. Milah and Hook were not obligated to be “nice” to entitled adult - and Milah had already been repeatedly confronted with the drastic lengths Rumple’s sense of entitlement went. His refusal to acknowledge her misery and make a change was merely an icing on cake.

This encounter ends with Hook not laying a finger on Rumple, allowing him to walk freely, back to his son, unharmed, whereas Milah is liberated from the toxic marriage. Intending to regain control over her life, mentally recover and come back to Bae some time later, when he’s old enough to decide which parent he wants to stay with.

Second encounter? Is a gratuitous contrast to the first one. Hook is faced with a literally SAME choice except his chances against the Dark One are not merely slim - they are non-existent. Peasant Rumple had admittedly little chances to win against the pirate Killian whereas pirate Killian had zero chances to make it out alive. Yet he chooses to fight and inevitably die on behalf of securing Milah’s safety, freedom and happiness. Rumple does not give Killian any choices like the latter did in regards to him - he takes advantage of his newly acquired power  threatening to slaughter the entirety of Hook’s crew. Hook doesn’t attempt to deflect - he is willing to die to protect his people and a woman he loves.

As is well known, Milah is revealed to be alive which prompts Rumple to switch back to textbook misogynistic mode. During the moments that are bound to be her very last on earth what Milah hears from her husband is the same patronizing, same humiliation of her as a parent. Rumple is hypocritical enough to demand that she apologizes to HIM while not acknowledging any of his mistakes, not apologizing for making her life miserable, not realizing that HE was the reason she left. He makes himself out to be a victim again.

Milah delivers a wholehearted apology, recognizing her mistakes towards Bae and expressing sincerest regret while Rumple keeps shouting at her, insulting her, degrading her as if he is in a place to critique Milah for her parental mistakes after having failed their mutual son in far more despicable manner.

What he conveniently leaves out are crucial details about the fact that HE had psychologically traumatized Bae by viciously massacring people in front of his son’s impressionable young eyes, turning them into snails & stomping on them for breathing in a wrong direction, killing defenseless women he forced into slavery because they might have posed a threat to his empowerment and consistently placing HIS vehement power pursuit and HIS need for validation and attainment of a fearsome/influential status over Bae’s well being. Which prompts Bae to open the portal into a different realm because he descended into the same misery as Milah when she was with Rumple. And just like Milah, Bae BEGGED Rumple to start all over yet Rumple, again, chose his selfish needs and convenience over that of the person he claimed to love.

Milah left Bae in his father’s custody after having sunk into all encompassing depression and had both the means - the bean, ship that could travel between realms - and the desire to come back. Rumple abandoned Bae to starve on streets of unfamiliar world because he valued power and privilege over him and proceeded to perpetuate the same malicious and murderous tendencies that made Bae open the portal & strive to escape the toxic environment (arranged by Rumple) in the first place, all in order to fix the consequences the loss of Bae entailed for HIM. Because Rumple once again made himself out to be a victim. And had, predictably, neither the resources nor critical thinking to outline a competent plan to come back for his son (resorting to murdering and/or manipulating multiple women in order to attain his goals).

Rumple, A class misogynist that he is, considers himself immune to scrutiny and does not confess to Milah about how grossly HE had betrayed their son. He does NOT fall to his knees begging for HER forgiveness - if he had done it, chances Milah and Hook would have allowed him on the board and together they would have set out to search for Bae seeing as Milah & Hook had the bean and the ship. Rumple, however predictably, ends up valuing his ego over a rational way of reuniting with his son. He demeans Milah as a parent despite being a worse one by all accounts, conceals the truth about Bae from her, makes her beg and plead for her freedom again. Accepts HER sincere apologies without in any way acknowledging his own wrongness and murders her in cold blood for having the audacity to say she never loved him, a man who made her miserable.

Milah ended up being entirely right about resorting to deception when escaping because when given the opportunity Rumple is capable of anything that helps him feel better about his hurt feelings and misogynistic tears he cried into the night instead of fighting for Milah at least on SOME level. Not excluding emotional one by fulfilling her requests and listening to her. First time Milah was brave enough to be honest with Rumple she ended up being dismissed, second time she ended up being murdered.

Rumple gave a woman - a mother of his child - a death penalty for defying conventional roles after miserably failing his as a man, husband and father. As well as for daring to love someone else who encouraged her liberty, happiness and empowered her rather than depriving her of any control like Rumple did. Rumple is literally a character who existed to teach “disobedient” women what happens when they dare to exercise their free will and proceed to maim a man who assisted a woman in reclaiming her agency and loved her the way she DESERVED to be loved: like a person rather than a possession a man is entitled to by default.

Milah and Hook hurt Rumple’s feelings after Rumple had made Milah depressed and trapped her in a toxic environment. Rumple viciously slaughtered Milah in cold blood for the fact of romantic rejection and for a considerably less drastic parental mistake, inflicted permanent physical disability on Hook for daring to empower women rather than oppress them and subjected him to three centuries of psychological torture because he DARED to be favored over Rumple on a romantic level and assisted the latter’s miserable wife in reclaiming her liberty in a way that damaged his ego.

"I want you to suffer like I did” - graphic, ultimate proof of the fact that it was never about Bae and ALWAYS about Rumple’s hurt feelings.

Should Rumple be coddled because said feelings were hurt? Should he be miraculously regarded as a tortured, misunderstood martyr as certain comments under this confession suggest? Rumple IS a sad, cowardly man. On top of that, he is also a misogynistic, abusive wife murderer who marries his former female slave (one he, amusingly, did NOT kill) under false pretenses and by lying through wedding vows about  murdering a yet another defenseless woman.

Hook is a severely flawed individual who owns his mistakes. Rumple is a self victimized woobie who considers himself entitled to women and adjusts to circumstances that make him look heroic and selfless. Even though he either has no choice in those situations or needs to have his malicious schemes sabotaged by OTHERS first instead of reconsidering any of his harmful intents. He doesn’t get a credit for unfortunately dying that one time because the reason WHY he got to that point was because his cold blooded murder of his eleven year old grandson was prevented and because he refused to help the ground search for Henry until Hook CHOSE to turn his ship around, come back and offer his services. Even if it meant allowing Rumple’s sadistic and oppressive self on the board despite the fact that this man destroyed him physically and psychologically for three centuries and killed his loved one.

Did Rumple ever feel remorse for murdering Milah or face any consequences? Nope, he still refers to his slain wife as if she was an object, not mastering a modicum of maturity three centuries later. Remorse for nearly succeeding at murdering Henry? Nada, until his son called him out. Remorse for years of misogynistic exploitation of socially & psychologically disadvantageous women, murder of a Fairy Godmother, violent slaughter of a poor mute housemaid, oppression of the Entire Enchanted forest and subjection of it’s residents to three decades of misery by manipulating Regina into enacting the curse? None, as long as he gets to have an ignorant girlfriend who promptly whitewashes his atrocities on base of “his heart is trueeeee!!!!1111!!!” falsehood.

A man who is guilty of murdering his female spouse for exercising her agency and leaving him for someone else, who prefaced said murder with belittling his wife as a mother while wronging his son in a way she never did and has demonstrated not an ounce of remorse for what he did to this woman and her partner ever since; smugly reveling in his immunity for this misogynistic crime which Rumple’s place of power allowed him to get away with should not be allowed to remarry - he should be serving a life long jail term. Doing what he has been consistently refusing to do, specifically examining his behaviors and maybe realizing that he is a problem rather than a victim.

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.
 Harvey Fierstein (via feellng)

i-c-how-it-is:

thollukthcaptor:

the-absolute-best-gifs:

dare4more:

I literally just went from aw to wtf.

NO BUT THIS IS WHY I LOVE LAIKA THO,

there was this big uproar over a character from paranormal being gay, so what do they do? next movie, they make a commercial that THROWS THE GAY IN YOUR FACE. They’re literally not being subtle at all about their queer representation and I fucking love them for it

Throw the gay in your face is perhaps the best thing I’ve heard all week.

lightspeedsound:

nearlybecamehistoric:

deusexignis:

iridium-flames:

vixsubridens:

asheathes:

WIZARDING SCHOOLS AROUND THE WORLD: CHINA

Located in deep in the Guilin mountains, shrouded in mist and frequented by dragons that live in the multitude of winding rivers, the students of the Chinese Institute of Magic don their colourful wizarding garbs every September 1st for their return to school whereupon they are treated to spectacular opening festivities involving, but not limited to: choreographed martial arts performances from their combat professors, an assortment of acrobatic wonders, and “Mystery Mooncakes” specially made for the mid-autumn festival.

#BUT WAIT #HOUSES BASED ON THE ORIGINAL FOUR #THE TIGER THE DRAGON THE PHOENIX THE TORTOISE

#just imagine how powerful their magic is though #they’ve been developing it for almost 2000 years longer than western magic imagine how refined and beautiful

#harry potter being eurocentric was such a fuckin’ waste

#my favourite thing is how those of us who have grow up with harry potter are now saying “no that’s not enough” and are expanding the universe #like we’re all critically looking at the books and realizing everything that’s wrong with them and fixing it ourselves #and idk i think that’s amazing

#they would not have had four houses; four is such an unlucky number in chinese numerology that there would never be four of anything.

#They also wouldn’t have used a tortoise wtf tortoises are shit in chinese mythology

#There would probably be like 8 houses because hello chinese population is enormous there would probably be tons more witches and wizards just by dint of percentages.

#Also I refuse to believe that chinese witches and wizards are like as massively in hiding as everybody else; I mean just look at traditional chinese medicine. You wanna talk eye of newt let’s talk about the various medicinal uses of fucking freeze dried sea cucumbers wtf why is that always the biggest jar at your grandma’s apothecary.

#…Because that’s goddamn right chinese fucking muggles go to the goddamn apothecary wtf you think you’re special, white leghorn wizards

#also fuck quidditch and broomsticks i bet they play games on motherfucking dragons

#can you imagine HOW MUCH BETTER DUELING WOULD BE WITH MARTIAL ARTS

#Defense against the dark martial arts tho

#I bet the sorting ceremony is much more involved and includes astrology charts and chi and shit like that it’s like matchmaking only way more crucial

#I bet muggles fucking love magic

#I bet they gotta be careful and shit at orphanages making sure no accidental Tom Riddle shit happens and like the next dark lord gets adopted by a pair of white gay guys from Santa Monica because that would be hella awkward whoopsies